I’ve heard it too many times to count, both from personal friends and strangers on the internet. But if you’ve spent much time in forums and groups of parents working so hard to heal their children of behavioral and developmental disorders and other special needs conditions, there is one thing you will NOT hear them say:
“God made him/her that way.”
No, God did not give me an angry child. He did not “bless” me with a child with special needs. My son has not had to battle with suicidal thoughts, violence, anger, aggression, low self-esteem, inability to make friends, and poor familial relationships because “God made him that way.”
Don’t be offended
If it offends you for me to say that I am healing my son and bringing him back from the brink of autism, it shouldn’t.
I have posted about children being healed from autism and have some truly wonderful stories here (read Brendan’s Story: Deliverance from Autism and Gordon’s Story of healing from autism). These children HAD autism and NOW they don’t.
But when I post about these stories, I inevitably get comments from someone on the spectrum who says “I find this offensive. Autism isn’t a disease and I don’t need to be healed.”
That’s all fine and well, but clearly those comments come from highly functioning individuals. Not all of those with autism are highly functioning. And to say it’s offensive to think autism should be healed is offensive to those working to heal it!
What about those parents who are working to potty train a child who is still not using the toilet at the age of 10… 15… 25?
What about the mom who spends all day and night attending to her autistic child who cannot be left alone because he will self-injure or injure another child?
What about the parents of autistic children who have never slept through the night? Ever?
Do you still want to tell these parents that autism is a blessing and “God made him that way?”
Autism is not a blessing
Fine, maybe some of those on the autism spectrum have some unique abilities. There are amazing musicians and artists who see things in ways the rest of us cannot due to autism and the unique functioning of their brains.
Those are “neat” stories… but they are the exception, not the rule.
Kids with autism are more likely to grow up and have trouble finding and keeping a job.
They are more likely to struggle with maintaining friendships, let alone a long-term relationship like marriage.
A recent study out of Switzerland found that autistic individuals die, on average, 18 years earlier than those without autism, are 9 times more likely to commit suicide, and 40 times more likely to die prematurely. [source]
No, autism is not a blessing, it is a disease that steals joy, peace, health, happiness, and years off of individuals’ lives. But it can be healed.
My son was on the brink of autism and had we not completely changed our lifestyle, I’m sure we would have an ASD diagnosis under out belt by now.
He had become so difficult in his interactions with other children that we could not spend time with friends. He had no control over his emotions or physical outbursts. He was violent and aggressive.
All that changed when we took steps to heal him with food and biomedical interventions. Read about how we healed some of his symptoms in my post PANDAS Syndrome: Camden’s Story of Healing.
Don’t tell me autism is a blessing
You will never -ever- hear me say that God made my son angry. I will never say God made my son socially awkward. I won’t say autism and related disorders are a blessing. They’re not.
The behaviors associated with autism have robbed my family of so much joy and peace and I’m thankful every day we’ve learned how to heal them.
If you have a special child with autistic behaviors or full-blown autism, perhaps you can understand where I’m coming from.
Perhaps you’ve spent many sleepless nights, up with a child who refuses to sleep, or maybe just worrying about the incessant behaviors that put him or others at risk.
Maybe you’re exhausted from cleaning up messes that leave you scratching your head and wondering… “how?” or “why?”
And maybe, just maybe, you dream of healing the symptoms known as autism, because deep down, you know that this is not right and this is not who your child was meant to be.
You’re not alone, mama. And don’t worry, you won’t hear me try to convince you that “autism is a blessing” or that “God made your child that way.”